Please Keep Trying!

With Valentine’s Day gone and Christmas but a memory, Easter is the last day of the Candy Season. The Candy Season extends from Halloween through Easter and is the time of year when no more than two months pass between major candy geared holidays. Those holidays are: Halloween, Christmas, Valentine’s Day and Easter. These are the days whose celebrations are punctuated, if not defined, by candy specifically manufactured for that holiday. Halloween candy is cheap, but looks pretty gruesome and cool. Christmas candy has a touch of class and sports minty and festive flavors, but isn’t necessarily quality. Valentine’s Day goodies (mostly chocolate) aren’t as inventive as Halloween or Christmas offerings, but are usually of a higher caliber and quality. Usually. Easter ends the line-up with style with both quality and variety. We have Easter to thank for Cadbury Cream Eggs and for those yummy lil’ Cadbury Mini Eggs.

Every year for the past fifteen years, I’ve gone to the store the day after a major candy holiday and stocked up on half price candy. It’s a thrill for me to grab four boxes of marshmallow Peeps for a buck. I always feel the consummate bargain-ess when I can get a mountain of goodies for a fraction of the price by just timing my purchases.

The trouble I encountered with binge buying was with binge eating what I bought. With little to no self control back in the old days, I could tear through a heart-shaped box of chocolates in twenty minutes, I kid you not. I could go back for seconds within an hour. So post-holiday candy buying wasn’t really the bargain it first seemed, especially with the interest I was paying in calories and fat.

I love my holiday candy however, and the bargain hunter in me finds it a sin to pass up such good deals. What to do with so much temptation just lying around the house? It’s not a good thing for me to have a bag of conversation hearts staring me in the face everyday. Sooner or later, it’s gonna get eaten and eaten all at once.

The thing I learned to do with candy in order to save myself from myself is to hide it. That’s right, I tuck it far away in a place I’ll forget about. Put it in the back of the freezer and bury it under the hot dogs and the fish sticks. Hide it in the closet, in one of my old purses or boots. Fill random drawers with a chocolate bunny here and a Cadury Egg there. Squirrel away the candy and forget about it till it’s found by accident. What I do nowadays since I have a partner in candy crime, is I have David squirrel it away. If he hides the candy, I’ll be less inclined to look for it since I’d feel ashamed to go rooting through drawers and tossing underwear on the floor to get my sugar fix. That’s an image of myself which shames me into reaching for a carrot or an apple instead of a piece of candy.

We have a pile of loot which’d make even the staunchest of candy proponents sick to see. It’s huge, mammoth in scale, and the reason it’s so large is we don’t eat it often. Seldom do we dip into our sweet savings. I forget it’s there except when the sugar crazies hit. Then, with frightening clarity I’ll remember I have a bag of Jelly Bellies left over from Christmas or I have a box of chocolates from Valentine’s Day. Only then does the loot get broached, and only with three pieces, max. This method works great and doesn’t deny me either my bargain hunting or my chocolate. In fact, the candy practically lasts until the next Candy Season. We’ve even thrown candy out since it staled.

Squirreling is a method which may or may not work for other people. Some may have an eidetic memory and the process is pointless. Others may not have the will power and polish off the candy before they have a chance to hide it. Still others may find themselves frantically trying to discover their squirreling holes. Like I said, it’s not for everyone, but squirreling works for me. I’d be nuts not to use so great a compromise!