Please Keep Trying!

I know I keep harping on Leftie. You’re probably wondering why I keep doing so on a weight loss blog. Well, if Leftie doesn’t get fixed, it’ll put a huge cramp in my workout routine and will keep me from the activities which make me happy and sane. An unfit and unhappy Rachel is a fat Rachel. Hence why Leftie is such a star on Please Keep Trying.

I had gone to an orthopedist last week and finally had an MRI done on my knee. When I went back to the doc on Monday, he read my MRI and told me I did indeed have a small meniscus tear. He also explained that with physical therapy I could lead a normal life, i.e. walking and going up stairs, but not much beyond that. Uh, in whose world is that normal? Cause it sure as hell isn’t mine.

The doc says it’s not a bad tear, that I have a few good years still ahead of me even with it injured, but I might not be able to return to the things I did before without a successful surgery. Say again?

Does this guy know I’m only 31? A few good years? I think I have a few good decades.No one is going to take away my rides through Forest Park. Nobody has the right to say my hikes are no longer an option. And no one, no one but no one, says I can’t do taijutsu anymore.

I asked him if the tear couldn’t heal on its own. No, meniscus tears never heal on their own. I beg to differ, some do. Why is it feeling better then? But no, he says, they never heal. I didn’t even see the MRI. Where was the tear, what kind of tear was it? Some meniscus tears, if near a blood supply, aka blood vessels and veins, will slowly, slowly mind you, heal on their own. Could mine be that variety of tear? No, they n-e-v-e-r heal on their own.

I then asked him, can you guarantee that after physical therapy I can get back on the mat and do what I did before, without crippling myself further? He didn’t say a word for some time, then he said no. I could make it worse if it wasn’t fixed. The doctor then said he’d pencil me in for March for arthroscopic surgery.

Errr, something doesn’t feel right. I know doctor’s can’t make lofty promises, and they should usually err on the side of caution with news, but c’mon, why can’t he tell me why this bastard won’t heal on its own? Not just that, but why did he cave in to my surgery request? I really want to see the MRI. I hate getting MRI’s done but I did get it done, I paid for it, I wanna see it and I want it explained to me in language that’s not too clinical nor condescending.

So now I’m looking for a second opinion. Someone who will tell me what the MRI says and whether or not I can get this thing healed up by itself over time. I don’t want surgery, but if that’s what it takes to be active again; cut away. But don’t put me out to pasture before my time and don’t take for granted that I’m not in charge of my own health. That’s right, I’m in charge. I can walk away from any doctor I don’t feel fully comfortable with. I’ve got too many unanswered questions for the orthopedist I’m dealing with now. After coming so far and losing so much weight, this is my life and my time, and it’s time to find a new orthopedist.